ויויאן אדן, ילידת ארה”ב. תושבת ירושלים זה שנים רבות. בעלת תואר דוקטור לספרות השוואתית. לימדה אנגלית, תרגום ותיאטרון במסגרות אקדמיות ואחרות ופעלה לבסס את פסטיבל המשוררים הבינלאומי במשכנות שאננים, ירושלים, כאירוע מרכזי בעולם השירה. כיום היא חברת צוות עיתון הארץ באנגלית. ספרה “משני הצדדים” (מקור אנגלי ושלל תרגומים) יצא לאור בסדרת “כבר” לשירה בסוף שנת 2008.
On writing
Recently I was asked to edit or provide new versions for literal translations – sketches, really – of a number of quotes from poems by Natan Zach, to be cited in a prose article about some other subject.
So I did. Then I compared “before” with “after” — the literal translations with the new translations, just to see what happened. Here are some notes from the work on “The Casino at Bat Galim” in Anti-Mechikon (Hard to Remember), Hakibbutz Hameuchad, 1984
BEFORE
What used to be here once upon a time, whole and fixed and beautiful
For youth in a shorecity on the seashore, an installation, in today’s language
Where people laughed and swam […]
AFTER
What once was whole here, repaired and fit
For youth in a seaside city on a beach, a facility, in today’s language
Where people laughed and swam […]
RATIONALE
“Once upon a time” introduces a fairy tale element doesn’t belong here. The poem deals with memory, not fantasy.
The phrase yaffeh le… is “appropriate, suited to, fit for” – rather than “beautiful,” the common meaning when the word stands alone.
“A shorecity on the seashore” isn’t something anyone would ever say in English. “Installation” as a translation of mitkan means a three-dimensional art piece that isn’t necessarily functional; “facility” applies to something that is (was) actually used, like the Bat Galim Casino..
BEFORE
Even pain will not restore what has been decreed lost
AFTER
What is fated to be lost, not even pain will help endure
RATIONALE
In the Hebrew poem, the sentence begins with the direct object of what won’t be helped (“What is fated to be lost”). This placement gives the direct object greater weight than the subject of the sentence (“pain”). Loss is worse or at any rate more important than pain here. I prefer “fated” to “decreed” for its assonance with “pain.”
April 2017
שירים מוקלטים
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